So if you’re dating an otaku, are you worth any less?

Get ready for a long post!

I just read on my daily visit to Sankaku Complex about a girl complaining about her worth as an otaku’s girlfriend. She put up a Help Wanted post on a forum that went something like this (original Japanese version here):

“He’s 4 years younger than me, he’s boy-faced and really cute, takes care of his hair and clothes – he’s stylish.

He would talk about music, movies, the latest trends, and knew all about them; he was captivating so it was a natural choice to date him. With a younger boyfriend who’s really cute, every day was full of happiness for me.

After 3 months, his true self emerged. He’s an otaku.

Like the sort you’d see at Akihabara. He doesn’t look it, but he’s into anime and cosplay. I think he even goes to their events.

And on his desktop wallpaper he has gross anime pictures – pink and purple haired miko.

When I saw this, I was so shocked, I thought I’d cry!

He’s stylish and was introduced to me by a friend, but after finding out his true nature I’m really afraid people might think I’m the same. I wish he’d told me at the start he was an otaku.

I don’t have much experience of romance, I feel anxious about these things. And I have been wondering about marriage lately too.

My boyfriend is kind, I love him. But if my friends found out about him I get the impression I’d lose worth in their eyes.

Are women dating otaku worth less?”

I’m happy to see that replies to this so-called helpless lass have been pretty captivating and matured so far (unlike in many Internet forums). Most of them of course sided with the fact that hobbies differ from person to person and does not derail a man of his value.

I think humans (yes, that includes me) are very shallow creatures. It takes only one bad apple to make you hate apples. Twin towers gone, boom, Islam is a shitty religion in a blink of an eye. Some Christians want to call their God “Allah”, and bam, churches get burnt. In turn, pig heads turn up in suraus. It just never ends, this chain of immaturity. When will it stop?

Awwwww Hazmer, you really like me huh?
Then you must be a faggot.

And it goes down to the smallest of matters. For example, in this case, those who look down on a bunch of us who like anime. For me, it’s never wrong to respect somebody for their interests (e.g. I look up to my three cousins for their exquisite taste), but it hurts to know that some people just diss others for liking moe anime. Many forums are full of shitheads like this. Seriously, who the hell do they think they are? You liking Ludacris and me liking Hidamari Sketch doesn’t make you a better person.

Anyway, I wanna talk about the picture painted here in Japan.

From my stay in Tokyo for almost 1 and a half years, I can say this with full confidence and utmost certainty: Japanese people care about their image A LOT. At least moreso than the average Malaysian or westerner.

Nothing sums it up better than one of the replies posted:

「日本人は空気に影響されやすいと言われています。」

Translation: The Japanese are easily influenced by their surroundings. They’re affected by the environment around them, and in turn it affects their surroundings. You can easily see it in their media, where handsome men and beautiful ladies grace the TV almost 80% of the time. And as my cousin Dzaid puts it, and I agree with him, they KNOW it. They KNOW that they look good and they want to show it off, rather pretentiously I may add.

But it can’t be helped. Their emphasis on visuals dates way back. The Japanese call this trait Wabisabi, and it affects how they view their world. Just a simple bloom of a single Sakura flower represents many aspects of life: new love, new uniform, the dying of old habits, etc. It affects their art, from Haiku all the way to their current slice-of-life anime, where they elaborate on the smallest things. Autumn may just be a season to a foreigner, but it means a million and one things to a Japanese.

I think this might be my favourite aspect of Japanese culture, hence why I love slice-of-life shows to begin with.

To a Japanese, image begins with your own and how you conduct yourself in front of others. I studied Japanese long enough to know that the language is designed with image in mind. If you study the language with the mere intention of translating your English sentences, you’re doing it wrong.  There are many ways to say something, and you gotta look out for the circumstances that surround the situation.

The respect and humble speech patterns. Oh the horror. And this is only the beginning, yo.

For example, praising a book written by your professor compared to one written by your friend. If you think it just involves replacing words and grammar structures, you’re dead wrong. In Japanese society, you’re not in a position to judge your professor’s book, so instead of saying “I think it’s a very good book 先生の本は素晴らしいと思います。”, you say “Your book has been a great study for me 先生の本はいい勉強になりました。”. You won’t sound pompous, and in turn you honour your professor’s presence. Your image, his image.

And yes, the language changes its form when you talk to a superior, to a junior, to a friend, to a stranger on the streets, etc. Even within the same conversation to your superior, if you want to imply that your superior is eating, you have to use a totally different vocab compared to the one implying that you yourself are eating. Your superior is more epic, so him “eating” is an epic act that deserves a more epic phrase. Unlike many other languages which apply this during the olden times, this rule still applies to the modern Japanese conversation.

To not sound so arrogant, the Japanese hate to take full responsibility for anything. Their popular phrases include と思います (I think), かも (maybe) and たぶん (probably). Even if they KNOW they’re 110% sure, they bring it down to 50%, at most 80%. My Japanese sensei taught us that instead of saying “I can speak English 英語が喋られます。”, say “It’s not that I don’t speak good English, but… 英語が喋られないことはないんですが”. Don’t sound *too* sure that you’re good in English, and always say that you heard such comments from a friend.

You may think all this is a weird result of a layered society, but I think taking care of one’s image as well as others’ has always been the strong point of the Japanese. Good sense of humility, politeness, low crime rate and their clean streets are all thanks to this very trait. Unfortunately, it is also their very downfall.

Good thing about being a foreigner is that the Japanese sometimes put off their mask when they talk to you. “I hate the rules of the society”, “I hate acting, I wish I could speak my mind”. My senseis and friends have mentioned this before, and I bet my Miyako plushie that you will never hear that from a Japanese if you’re Japanese yourself.

Thanks guys.

Going back to the whole dating-otaku scenario, if you think about the circumstances, it’s not her fault for thinking that way. After all, otakus in Japan have always carried a bad image. No surprise really, we have otakus marrying game characters and dating anime pillows all the way to the public swimming pool, you know, the *very few* bad apples, so to speak. Magazines, forums, all forms of media have criticized the otaku culture for the longest time.

Saki has normal friends who know that she's dating an otaku. Reality might not be as forgiving.

Even if the lady in question thinks it’s not so bad, her friends will. The principal of “not caring about what other people say” is all good and dandy, but in Japanese reality it’s easier said than done. Can a Japanese lady live life knowing that others will condemn her behind her back? One could say “those who do that are not her real friends”, but she might end up with no friends at all!

We’re talking about a country where champion sumo wrestlers quit because of mere scandals here.

Otakus are mocked SO badly that when I was referring to advice from a book on writing Japanese resumes, it mentioned “if you’re planning to write ‘reading manga’ or ‘watching anime’ in the Hobbies section, you really lack common sense“. Even the anime Genshiken poked at this, with Madarame saying “Hmm, maybe I should write ‘appreciation for the arts’ after all”.

The Japanese are quick at judging people by their looks. You wearing an anime T-shirt is like you hanging a sign around your neck saying “You come near me, you will smell like me too”. If you’re a girl pulling a luggage bag in Ikebukuro, you’re most probably a Boy’s Love doujinshi lover and are to be avoided at all cost. I have one such classmate and she complains about hearing such comments all the time.

Sadly, this very thinking has also affected the west and also my home country Malaysia, especially of recent years thanks to all the bad apples. People who like moe anime are looked down upon by those who think they’re better human beings. “To each their own”, “whatever floats your boat”, “different strokes for different folks”, they all bear no meaning in today’s society, it seems.

My Japanese otaku friend and his non-otaku cousin had a fight recently as to what he will do with all his anime figures if he gets a non-otaku girlfriend. Of course, the general consensus is that in a relationship you have to accept someone for who he really is, bad parts and all. Ok so you hate Jennifer Lopez, but I ain’t gonna tear my posters down for you (example ok!). Sadly, this does not apply here in Japan. Best you keep all your figures in a box if you wanna keep going with the relationship.

And this is why a women being single in their 30s here is normal. According to a magazine, most Japanese agree that women here care too much about their partner’s reputation, looks and salary. It’s safe to say that this is one of the important reasons behind the horrible declining birth rate here.

Very unlike his dad Jimmy Choo, who's making designer shoes. Regardless, he's living his dream and is making a living out of it!

I can’t bring myself to become someone like Danny Choo, a person who openly admits himself being an otaku in front of many Japanese people. I love anime, A LOT A LOT. Does that make me an otaku? But in the Japanese mind, an otaku is someone who loves a 2D character on a romantic level, owns many anime pillows, gets held up in his own room without lights on, jerking off to some flashing anime panties. I don’t condemn these guys, but I’m not at such level of fandom. So what am I now? Still an otaku?

Should I even admit that I like anime to a Japanese the first time we meet?

When it comes down to it, I love this country for all its worth, but this is one aspect that I just couldn’t stand. On one side of the coin, their appreciation for the arts got me interested in their culture, but strangely enough it also pulls me out of it. Their emphasis on reputation and image knows no bounds, to a point where it has created a black hole void of personal freedom and expression.

Though seriously, otakus should also know their boundaries. Balance in life is important, being out of balance is what makes you a lesser human being, at least to the public eye. Expressing them is ok, but I’m sure many of you agree that forcing your interests on others is a big no-no.

Before I end this post, I should try to be a little more Japanese and conclude all the above with one big… “と思います！(I think!)”.

Btw, for those new to the site, I need to approve your comment once before it appears. Any subsequent comments need no authorization. If you submitted and your text disappears, don’t panic :) It’ll appear soon!

My cousin Daim wrote a nice piece of article in his *ahem* BLOG (http://www.daimation.com) detailing his preferences in selecting his favourite animation/movies. Had a nice discussion with my cousins last night, thought it was a great idea to come up with my own list! :) I invite everyone to do the same!

This is also in tune with the upcoming ahbonk.net Anime Awards 2009, so you will roughly know why I choose some shows over others.

Of course, this is just a writeup about my preferences. To each his own, I’d say.

First, let me tell you the most important factor in choosing the right show:

• As long as it’s not Micheal Bay’s Transformers, it’s good.

Wait, come back! It’s not the only factor…

I agree with Daim in a sense that music, story-telling and art are very important aspects of media. Unlike Daim though, it’s hard for me to put emphasis on one portion of media over the other. For example, I think that music is no more important than visuals, nor are visuals more important than story-telling.

For me, a movie with fitting visuals but bad story-telling is just as guilty as a movie with a good story but unfitting visuals. An anime with an epic soundtrack but ill-suited visuals ain’t gonna compel me to watch the show either.

Back to the Future is not Back to the Future without the characters, the tense music, the changing newspaper articles, the hoverboard and flying cars, etc. It is my favourite movie of all time because it manages to harmonize all its elements into one entertaining package. I agree with Daim: it’s the whole integration that’s important.

Maybe my experience as a multimedia and game developer influenced me to see the whole thing in a big picture.

I *do* agree though that one media element is harder to produce than the other. I think coming up with matching music score and sound effects is a difficult process, one that is super difficult and as a result is only considered as an afterthought.

So far it may seem like the easy way out of dissecting my interests, but I assure you I DO have a list of 3 factors that influence my judgement in media. They are:

• Entertainment Value
• Immersion
• Effort

Half-naked fat men are entertaining. End of discussion.

Nah, just kidding. Thin men are fine too: “I don’t believe in God, I believe in sciiiieeenccee.”

I watch animation and movies to be entertained. Of course how “entertaining” something is depends on the person, but I tend to not like shows that mope and “emo” around one single issue for too long. I’d take 20 repeated runs of Nacho Libre over one round of Winter Sonata any day (What? He’s blind now? COME ON!).

In other words, I wanna feel good after watching something. Sometimes it’s about being happy for the characters, or being struck in awe after watching an intense space battle/psychological thriller. The feeling could also be associated with the production rather than the movie itself, like “Man, I wish I thought of that, that was an awesome idea!”.

Without a doubt, the stirring of emotions play a VERY BIG role in entertainment value.

This is not to say I wanna see a rabbit hopping in the meadows and smelling flowers for two hours. You might think that I’m easily pleased, but to keep me entertained for two hours is not an easy feat, let alone for 26 episodes. If you just look at the story-telling element alone, there are already a bunch of stuff that needs to be considered.

Like the story arc, for example. To build for the feel-good moment, crisis of significant scale here and there is crucial. Even in slice-of-life comedies, characters need to have conflict to handle every now and then. It may seem basic, but a lot of popular anime/movies fail in this department.

Such as:

• One in recent memory is the latest Star Trek movie. Too much going all over the place without solving the crisis at hand.

• The latest One Piece movie, Strong World, in which all the crises were not much of a challenge for Luffy and gang. Villains were swatted down like flies.

• Anime series that rely too much on fanservice for entertainment. Yes I’m a guy, but my brain is bigger than my balls. I want something more intelligent, thank you.

• Don’t get me started on Haruhi’s endless eight!

• Back to the Future, Star Wars (NO, not episode I, II and III!) and in recent memory, Watchmen, rocked. The story flow, the characters and the action had momentum which made for a good ride.

• Gurren Lagann and One Piece manga, for its awesome seemingly impossible-to-overcome odds at every corner. Not to mention that they’re both funny AND full of thrills!

• Also, let’s not forget some feel-good anime, like Aishiteruze Baby, Azumanga, Aria, Hidamari Sketch, Ichigo Mashimaro and Cross Game. Considering all its one-way love relationships, Honey and Clover might seem like an exception to this rule, but it’s not. It’s heart-warming and beautiful, both story and art.

There’s more to Aria than just girls wearing white uniforms that hug… their curvy… body shape… mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

*slaps himself*

Similar to when I’m playing a game, I wanna forget the real world and be thoroughly involved in the world that I’m watching. It doesn’t only apply to fantasy worlds; I would love to be involved in that discussion room among 12 Angry Men, or shout out from the audience stand to support Ippo in Hajime no Ippo.

You see, when I was watching Aria, I was not only taken in by the future alternative of Venice, I mean, sure it was visually stunning and all that. But if it wasn’t for our lovely protagonist Akari’s commentary and her curiosity on exploring every corner of the city, I wouldn’t have found Neo-Venezia to be as beautiful as I do now. Dialogue and story helped a lot in sucking me into this fantasy world.

It’s common to think that visuals play the biggest role in immersion, but not for me. Aria would’ve struck me on a different note if not for the sound of the waves hitting the docks and the creaking sounds of the gondola. The Italian jazz BGM by Choro Club helped a lot in bringing out its romantic atmosphere. If not for all these, it could have easily been mistaken for a sci-fi show instead of a slice-of-life story of a girl who wants to be a full-fledged gondolier.

Read the Wiki. Just look under the Reception section and you can see all the praises by official sources to see what I mean. Here’s an excerpt:

“The series has been praised for its calm pacing, optimistic worldview, beautiful art, and, for the anime, the quality of the soundtrack.”

Let’s see. Story-telling, check. Visuals, check. Music, check. All of them work together to create, quote, “a masterpiece of storytelling and illustration, gorgeous to look at and a feast for the young imagination in its ability to present an inviting, fully realized world”, unquote.

My love for Venice, including a daily visit to a certain Venice photo blog, is all thanks to Aria.

This is why I love slice-of-life anime, especially the feel-good fuzzy ones. They pay attention to the smallest detail, which deepens the immersion ever further, at least for me. I’m in Tokyo now and I appreciate every little thing it has offer: the people, the dog statue in Shibuya, the sound of the wind chimes, the Sakura petals, the kotatsu, the music the pedestrian traffic light plays when it’s green, ginger ale (and how it’s pronounced). All of them have a high level of significance to me.

Anyway, nothing pisses me off more than that momentary knock-back that instantly transports me back to reality, such as:

• Plot Holes: You come back to reality and think, WTF. This is why I hated Deja Vu, a waste of Denzel Washington talent. It had more holes than my face.

• Character Motivation: I don’t mind characters being one-dimensional and all, as long as their motivation is set straight. Nothing is more unconvincing than a villain who wants to destroy the world for very childish reasons, like “mommy gave you more toys than me” (replace toys with money/empires, it’s all the same). Oh, and Star Wars Episode I, II and III are very good examples of epic fail in this context. *whuang* *whuang* *pshh arrrghhh* What have I done? … Yes master.

• Bad Acting: This is why I can’t stand some Malay comedies, they try to act funny but fail horribly. Remember Batman and Robin, anyone? I’m trying not to. Though game-related, some RPGs have horrible english dub that prevent me from playing them till the end.

• Inconsistent Art: I know that your company is laying off some people and you can’t push that beautiful art direction past episode 6, but I wanna forget about that (immersion, remember?). When characters and scenery look different in certain scenes, I end up trying to figure out what the heck am I looking at. Filler episodes are also a popular victim.

• Horrible Audio: IMO, music and sound effects make or break the mood of the show. The recent anime Fairy Tail had one terrible flaw that I just couldn’t forgive for the life of me. At the end of every episode, a super happy ending theme would fade in 5 seconds before the credits roll. So imagine the awkward feeling when I saw the villain almost killing the main dude near the end, having his sinister laughter overlapped by some hyper jingle. Good Lord, someone kill the director. At least Saki did a better job at this, fading in the right ED song to fit the end.

• Trying to Figure Out Which is the Autobot and Which is the Decepticon: ‘Nuff said.

A lot of creators want their work to be judged at face value, but that ain’t gonna happen. Nuh uh. Production value is proportionate to the number of people and experience, that’s a fact you can’t deny. If you see a solo-produced 3D animation beating a Pixar one in production value, please call the police. It’s a crime.

Makoto Shinkai is a talented artist. A rare one at that. You can’t believe that beautiful works like Voices of a Distant Star can be created by just one man (+composer friend and voice actress fiancee).

Even so, if he works with more people, can you imagine the lengths that he could reach? Just look at his next work, The Place Promised in Our Early Days, where you can see a huge improvement in production value as he worked in a team. Whether it’s a better movie or not is another matter altogether.

This is why I can’t help but consider the amount of effort that was put into the work. Though I’d be a little more forgiving, I will still consider its entertainment value and depth of immersion as important factors. I can tell you that there are a lot of one-man shows out there that fulfill these criteria, even more so than a whole slew of box office hits.

In other words, if solo-produced Film A was just as entertaining and immersive as studio-produced Film B, I would say that A is a better movie than B. Sorry, you can’t talk me out of this one :P Coz for me, it’s about surpassing or falling short of expectations.

This thinking gave birth to my great appreciation for independent (doujin) animation, manga, music and games.

Daim mentioned last night that he stays away from animated shorts in general because they are often a channel to show off the artist’s skills, with disregard to storytelling and audio. In short, it’s a “Hey look at this!” kind of thing.

Though I wholeheartedly agree with him, I say “why not?”. There are many who wanna show off but are just all talk and no action. A select few have chosen to do something about it, with passion. That in itself deserves my respect and a view from me. No matter how pretentious a piece of work is, it always has a story of tell.

This brings me to another related, albeit slightly weaker factor, intention. What is this piece of work intending to do, and did it succeed? You wanna show off how your art direction is related to child abuse? Sure! You have this crazy plot twist idea about the train not moving but the stations are moving instead? Why the hell not!

Once in a while I forgive the lack of plot richness if the creator did what s/he intended to do. For example, we all know that Advent Children isn’t the best example of story-telling device out there (in fact far from it), but I know what the creator was trying to make: an awesome 3D version of John Woo action while being faithful to the game. And it succeeded. I like.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

Phew, sorry about that. Got carried away with all the writing, but that’s who I really am. And remember, there are always exceptions to the rule. It always depends on my mood, the hype, the current technology, etc.

How about you? What are the 3 factors that affect your judgement on entertainment? Let us know!

A little late, but happy new year everyone! あけおめ！Spent New Year’s with my cousins in several eatery spots, everyone wasn’t in the mood to go to a crowded place for some countdown. After that day, I had to prepare for job hunting, was invited to a Japanese otaku friend’s house for a night’s stay, all in all it’s been a pretty busy but fun week.

Anyway, last year was quite the blast. 2009 marked an important year for me coz I spent the entire year living in Japan. Full of ups and downs, but no doubt a life-changing experience.

Now what will 2010 bring? It’s all up to me, of course :) Let’s recap what my new year resolution was in 2009…

Though I didn’t get up to par on my drawing skills *sob* but I think I worked really hard on my Japanese skills. I can’t believe I was not able to read much Kanji up till last year. Still a mystery to me how I passed JLPT Level 3 few years back. Being in Japan really does help a lot. A LOT.

Sure I’ve gotten better and all, but it was quite a tiring year for me as well. I think “stress” is a great word to sum up the entire year. Not to mention that I’ve gone through a bitter moment back in April if you remember. I ended up caring too much about everything, became envious of other people’s skills, had little confidence in speaking Japanese with others, irritated at the smallest mistakes I made, cared too much about how others think about me, was too cautious on expressing my interests, bla bla.

Enough of this nonsense, I say! Here’s my new year’s resolution for 2010:

The word is nonki, or easygoing/carefree. Heck, didn’t even bother to write it in Kanji but I decorated it with beautiful autumn leaves :) No concept whatsoever, I just love autumn leaves!

2010 is the year to return to my happy-go-lucky self again! What, my Japanese sucks? Bored of my anime talk? Don’t like my opinions? Well, screw you hahaha! I don’t care! It’s time to get my life back on track, do what I like and live in the now. Hopefully by the end of 2010 I won’t be too self-conscious about the tiniest details and be a much happier person.

Whatever it is you’re set on doing in 2010, all the best! I hope for your continuing support in 2010 as well. 今年もよろしく！

The trip to my friend’s house and a certain anime award in the next few days. Stay tuned!

I feel so bad for writing my previous rant post. Messages came from all over: calls, emails, SMSes, real-life talk, blog and chatbox comments, etc. Even at such a horrible point in my life, I’ve been reminded again that I’m blessed with so many family and friends. Thanks so much everyone, how could I ever live without you guys!

Now that I feel much better (took me long enough huh), I owe everyone an explanation as to what kind of resolve did I reach. What better way to explain than to attach the post with pictures from the 2 picnics with my ex-classmates last week!

In my life (oh started la…), whenever I wanna do something, I’ll really get fired up about it. As long as I wanna do it, of course :P

I’m sure many of you know that I’m a big fan of Japanese culture. Especially when it comes to games and anime. NO, I’m not an otaku, how many times must I tell you!

Now that I’m in Tokyo, I’ve been surrounded by situations where I’d go “Damn, wish my Japanese was better”. Daily conversations, reading instructions and signs, joining doujin circles, reading manga, understanding anime, joining clubs… the things I could’ve achieved with better Japanese skills.

So I got into my usual passionate state and studied like mad. Beyond mad. Over 9000 kind of mad. Hence it’s only natural that the breakdown happened, as you witnessed in the previous post.

Thanks to everyone’s advice, I have come to my senses. I seem to have forgotten what learning a new language is supposed to be: FUN.

This is not Maths. Nor is it science. It’s language studies. And in language studies, it’s only natural that you suck if you were not born to speak the language. Hell, I started in my 20s. Studying a language is like getting to know another country’s culture. This kind of interest sprouts from curiosity for something new.

Brain getting messy. Stress building up. Losing yourself. Are these things really worth it just to chase after something you’re interested in? Now I think not. Learning a new culture shouldn’t be about fussing over what you don’t know; it should be about delighting over what you already know.

I realized that being in a hurry to learn something new is not a good idea after all. Considering that I have other things to do as well, I must focus some of my energy on things that I already have the skills for. 50% game design, 50% Japanese studies.

To sum it all up, I guess I wanna take it slow. Absorb new information as it comes. And Japan is not only about language, it’s all about participating in festivals, ceremonies, sports, etc, not just staying at home studying every single kanji in the manga! Should make full use of my time here!

I will still focus on my Japanese studies, just not to the extent of destroying myself :P Seriously, to think that I have forgotten how fun it is to learn Japanese, I must’ve been out of my mind.

It’s time to take off my shoes and take it easy. Thanx so much everyone!

Today, I entered my room and cried.

I’m a guy and it’s embarrassing to admit it, but yea I did. The usual happy-go-lucky me, cried. For hours on end, once in a while stopping to think about my situation. Been awhile since I shed tears. Really felt better after that, no regrets.

You see, ever since I came to Japan, I’ve been praised a lot, maybe too much. Still can’t get used to it coz I don’t think I’m worthy of such praises. Anyway, apart from the usual friendly, sociable, kind, bla bla bla, friends and teachers alike said that my Japanese is really good. Winning the speech contest helped to build such a rep.

Of course I sincerely reject that notion coz I still have a long way to go. A long, long way to go. Kanji. New words. New grammar constructs. The list goes on. My confidence in Japanese studies often wane whenever I hear a Japanese conversation or read a manga.

For that reason, I study. And I study hard. Yes I do! Heck, I have Kanji writings pinned on my wall, not just anime posters. I study the textbook almost everyday. I take note of every unknown word in the manga I read. All this really takes a lot out of me, but I’m ok. At least, I WAS ok. I had the intense drive to improve myself.

Up till now it might sound like I’m showing off, but that’s not true. I’m merely stating the great deal of effort I put into learning Japanese, exactly because I’m weak in it.

Due to this diligence I did very well in class, much better than I expected. I was number one in class for the first semester, and number two for the second. Then there’s this separate exam (let’s call it ability test) where it tests your level of Japanese, and the school won’t tell you the result, just for their own processing.

During the mandatory counselling session, the teacher showered me with sweet words like how good my Japanese is and how well I did during the speech contest. Not even a word of complaint or criticism. Didn’t say how badly I did in that ability test either.

You would think that with those praises you’d have a higher expectation of yourself.

Then came the new semester. It was class placement time.

In my school, each class is represented by a letter, then a number. A1 is the same as A2, but B1 is better than B2, which is better than B3, then C1, C2 and C3.

To my utter shock, I was placed in the worst class in the morning session. That’s right, I’m in C3. So I thought, hey maybe my close ex-classmates are there too.

Nuh-uh, I was grouped with my ex-classmates who were either not serious or just loves to sleep during class. The others, Nae and Sen Nyeo in A1, Dzaid and Go in A2, Hemming in B1 and Bomi in B2. I sincerely congratulated them, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that something was wrong.

So I went to my previous homeroom teacher. Maybe I was wrong about the class system. She said nope. I got curious and asked why am I in C3, and she answered “Maybe it was the result of that ability test?”. I love my teacher and all, but that answer was so ridiculously ambiguous. No matter how much I pressed, she won’t tell me the result of that ability test.

And starting from there, my thoughts were in a mess. I don’t expect you to understand how disappointed I was, but seriously I was slumped. Still am now.

You mean, all that studying in hopes to learn more advanced stuff was all for naught? What about that part where I pushed myself to get past all those Chinese and Korean classmates who can read Kanji naturally to get number one and two? I’m not the kiasu type, so I’m not really concerned too much about position in class and stuff, but it’s the only measurement of my ability.

Then I thought about it somemore. What am I supposed to do to become better? Must I push myself further? Thanks to today’s event, what was waning confidence before is now totally non-existent.

And I’m thinking, this whole adventure is really costing a lot of money. I love being in Tokyo and all, but will I eventually be able to do what I want to do here, or is this a whole big waste of money? I still can stop now and save one whole year worth of school tuition, apartment rent, food, transportation, bills, etc. That amounts to tens-of-thousands of ringgit.

Thinking and thinking and thinking.

The optimistic voice in me is saying “You’re not done yet right? You have a long way to go, so prove to them that you can do it!”. I’m sure there are more chances to jump to a better class, but that’s what I thought last semester too. At least to be at the same pace with my classmates. Now I’m falling behind. WAY behind.

If I continue, what am I supposed to do? Be superhuman and study at least 16 hours a day? Then will I only become better? Or should I channel my energy pursuing other things in life?

My eyes hurt like hell now. I just wanna rest from school for two days and think this over carefully. It’ll possibly be one of the biggest decisions of my life. All the best to me.

Thanks for reading, my friend.

To summarize my resolution for 2009:

That’s right! This year I shall use my time to learn stuff! 3 skills on high alert are:

• Japanese Language
• The Japanese Way of Game Design
• How to Draw

The first two are quite apparent, but what’s up with the 3rd one? I’m tired of constantly complaining that I wish I knew how to draw, so this year is my chance to redeem myself!

I just bought a cheap Wacom tablet today. Initially it’s meant to ease my game storyboarding (no more stupid boxes and circles), but I can also use it to draw my own stuff. Talk about killing two birds with one stone eh?

I just drew whatever was on my table. I hear you. I have a long way to go.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

All of us (I think) get into something that we think we shouldn’t enjoy. It could either be against our personal values (“Nono I shouldn’t watch… OOOH BOOBIES!”) or the possibility of other people’s reaction (“Hey everyone, he likes Barney! What a wuss!”).

Call it anything you want, but the anime community calls this…

The Guilty Pick.

Whenever a new season comes, someone would list down all the upcoming animes in some forum. A few titles seemed like they were directed by some low-life uneducated pervert.

Still, some of us would not want to think too much about what we watch. We’d want something mindless, fun and, uh, mindless. And so one guy would go “Heh heh my guilty pick this season is…”. Others would write “WTF you retard!”, but secretly rewinds to that exclusive one-second panty shot!

Guilty picks are not only limited to anime. Here are some of my very own guilty picks:

Guilty Pick: Food = Chicken Rice

Why guilty? Freaking easy to cook! Why pay for something that you can cook yourself, rite? Even so, most of the time the rice is dry and there’s little to no sauce for the chicken, except for SS2, Jalan Gasing and the “Wedding Place” (TOA students should know!).

Even worse if you order it off some stall that also sells Tomyam, Daging Merah and all that other Malay/Thai lauk-pauk, yuck! Oh, and the ad in the cinema is not the worst thing The Chicken Rice Shop has to offer!

Why pick? Steamed chicken FTW! Man I love simple food, it’s just chicken + rice! That’s all! Also, it’s simple to tarpau, simple to eat and simple to throw. No fuss. I order it whenever I have the chance, and I don’t mind if the chicken rice sucks. After all it’s still chicken and rice! By far my 2nd favourite food of all time!

Guilty Pick: Hangout = Berjaya Times Square

Why guilty? Here’s a very common sight: A group of teen+preteen delinquents making a lot of noise, dancing like hooligans and dressed up like some cool gothic/punk dude-wannabes. It’s a BIG place, but with *little* people (in terms of quantity AND height).

It also features a VERY ORANGE amusement park that no one goes to, and when someone did go there, she fell down from the roller coaster (no joke, i saw the aftermath!). Luckily she just fainted after falling down on a higher elevation (the roller coaster flies above much lower elevations!!!). She was just injured. Her mom at the scene seemed more hurt than her daughter, though.

All in all, Times Square can be summed up in 3 words: AHBENG, AHLIAN and DANGEROUS.

Why pick? The games in the arcade center are the latest in Malaysia, and it’s the only one with a Pop’n Music machine. Also inclined towards the anime fan’s needs, with Anime Tech, XL shop (friendlier than the one in Mid Valley) and another figure shop on the 7th floor. Nice to hangout in Starbucks too, with all the latest books at your disposal in the biggest bookstore in Malaysia. Yea, just ask the assistant to open the plastic wrapping for you! *evil grin* And apparently Ah Bengs and Ah Lians don’t read books XD

Guilty Pick: Anime = Hayate no Gotoku

Why guilty? Parodies, parodies, parodies. That’s all it takes to make an episode in Hayate no Gotoku. Without them, it would just be an empty shell with some leftover scrap of lame jokes and slapstick comedy. Sometimes the characters’ over-reactions slap a big WHAT THE HECK on your face.

How come Hayate no Gotoku goes into season 2? Easy, it’s a secret technique copied from the anime production of Naruto: FILLERS. The episodes sometimes make you wonder if you could have spent the last 20 minutes doing something more productive, you know, like watching Azumanga Daioh episodes over and over. Some of the episodes are really too ridiculous, even by my standards (yes, it’s THAT ridiculous!)

Why pick? Because of the parodies, of course! They’re fan service in the purest form (as opposed to the “unpure” panty shots, fufufu) Amazingly, I get most of the jokes, so when I laugh I feel like I’m rewarded for knowing my stuff! It’s similar to watching Lucky Star, just in a lamer premise. And let’s not forget the girls, who span across many anime girl stereotypes! Maria and Hinagiku are the community’s favourite (non-guilty) picks, and I couldn’t agree more. And we also have a big talking white tiger that walks on two legs, and the narration is done by Wakamoto Norio (voice of Chiyo-chan’s feline father). Fillers or not, mindless is as mindless does!

Guilty Pick: Game = Sonic the Hedgehog Series

Why guilty? Here’s Sonic Team’s brainstorming session: “Hey guys we’re having this new Sonic game, so let’s start by thinking of new animals to add to the endless list of Sonic’s friends”. Man, Sonic is SO likeable! The next game might as well be called “Sonic and his new shitty friends” (credit goes to NeoGAF :D)

Alright alright, the gameplay should at least be great, right? WRONG! With exception of the early 2D Sonic games, the guys who did the level design and physics engine should be killed on the spot. As if the extremely bad camera view and platforms being SO far apart aren’t punishing enough, they had to put some lovely bugs into the game. Like how Sonic fell down from a tunnel that never had a hole! Or pressing right to grind on the next rail inconsistently results in Sonic MISSING the rail entirely! Sonic just *loves* the chasm of doom.

Hey that’s a great idea for the next Sonic sequel right? “Hey look guys, it’s my long-time buddy, the chasm of doom!”

And don’t get me started on Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic Riders……… though I finished the games! =_=;; What the hell was I thinking?!

Why pick? The level design (the positions of the platforms, the auto camera trick crap, etc) might suck, but the art of the world itself is quite interesting. I always want to know what the next world would look like, so I (stupidly) brave all those crazy bugs and chasms. The soundtrack for each level is not bad either (except for those vocal soundtracks, just shut up already!) And there are a few good Sonic games as of late, like Sonic and the Secret Rings, and Sonic Rush. There’s still a little speck of hope in my little Sega fanboy heart!

So what’s YOUR guilty pick? Maybe you enjoy watching little girls singing those CNY karaoke songs? XD

To give a general answer, I have compiled the top ten lessons i’ve learnt from my time in (if ). Of course, the very obvious lessons (like time management, etc.) are not listed (I don’t follow them sometimes heh heh). I just showed this to my students on their last lecture yesterday, so I thought I would share it with everyone. Here they are, in random order:

#1: Simplicity rocks.

The acclaimed Vib Ribbon… it’s like telling all art directors, “In your face!!”

I really can’t stress this enough. Being simple in all aspects of your work can help you a long way. Use simple words and metaphors in presentations. Also, through my experience, creating a feature-rich solution is less effective and requires more effort than one that focuses wholly on one message/idea.

Ironically, simplicity is not as simple as you think. To be simple is easy, to be simple AND effective is simply difficult. That’s why, as John Maeda puts it, mastering art is mastering simplicity.

#2: Losing trust is easy. Gaining trust is difficult.

Once you lose trust, you’ll sit in a dark corner with a very itchy throat.

This lesson, I’ve learned first hand. You may have contributed to society for a long while, but it just takes an innocent stupid mistake to flush all of their trust down the toilet. One day if you wanna ignore/betray someone, think really hard. Don’t go into the habit of “burning bridges”.

On the other hand, try to be understanding when someone tries hard to regain your trust. There’s enough hate going around in this world, don’t add to that. As with all religions, forgiveness is divine.

#3: To be creative, you must be technical.

Kintaro’s passion for technology comes right after the scent of the women’s toilet seat.

On top of being able to execute your own idea, being technical also opens your world to new possibilities. One who knows nothing of databases will not come up with great viral marketing techniques. If you’re in the dark, you would come up with limited ideas, or, on the other hand, ridiculous ideas.

Nakamura Yugo (Yugop), Joshua Davis, John Maeda, Iwai Toshio, Sanyen (hehe)… what made all these design icons great? Technical knowledge, which helped them translate their ideas into works of art. Their research into all things technical has broadened their perspective and expanded their ideas even further than anyone could ever imagine.

#4: Concept first, details later.

The Ghost Hotel, one of the many attractions of the Golden Saucer in FF7.

This is very related to the theme of simplicity. The first step to achieve simplicity is to summarize the objective of a solution in three words or less. Create a mind map of sorts. If you have the creative license, take a keyword that is loosely related to the subject matter and make it your concept.

From there, simplicity ensues! All ideas and execution can now revolve around that concept, so it’s easier for your team to come up with cool stuff. Then, your user would find it easier to get the message, since the concept is repeated over and over again. Concept leads to simplicity, in more ways than one!

#5: Details are STILL important.

Looks more haunted now, doesn’t it?

Hey, you got your concept, but you gotta do it right! One of the most unfortunate incidences in the design industry is when the idea is cool but the execution sucks. Details are never to be underestimated; even if your clients didn’t notice them, your users will!

It’s like thinking of a great colour scheme for your living room, but you didn’t paint your wall thoroughly. In the end, rather than basking in the sheer awesomeness of your concept, they are distracted and irritated by that stupid white patch in the corner. Wasted effort.

#6: Perfection kills.

But perfection in DDR makes you fit!

First, the creator fumbles on the exact pixel location of that exit button till 6 am. This makes others in the pipeline work on it later. Schedule gets thrown out of the window. Deadlines missed. The whole team gets scolded. Other projects are affected. That team gets scolded as well. In the end, perfection doesn’t make sense.

Perfection is also deadly in another way: it makes you stubborn. Imagine that you have this really great execution in your mind. Your technique takes ages. Your colleague said there’s a better workaround method, you said “NO! I’ll surely make this work!”. In the end, you didn’t make it work. At least you got what you want: the perfect failure.

All in all, perfection might satisfy you, but it never satisfies anyone else.

#7: Don’t read too much.

She didn’t have a choice though; she had to read, or die.

I used to be in this habit where I grabbed game design books whenever I can. At one point, I tried my best to catch up with gaming news and forums. But where did all this lead me? A bigger head, a stack of books lying around and ZERO achievements.

In career and work, who cares if you know so much? They want results, and you know you want it too. In no way am I discouraging you to read books, but as the above quote states, reading self-help books only truly ends with you taking action! Or else you’ll be forever stuck in the world of inaction.

#8: Depression solves nothing.

If this girl is your colleague, ignore this lesson.

“Easier said than done”. A depressed person’s favourite phrase. I know, coz 2006 was really the most depressing year for me. I was annoyed over the most stupid of things. 2006′s Hazmer in one word: stupid.

Depression in the office normally occurs when something unrelated has been bugging you for a long time, like “Hey why am I here at 5 am when my boss is at home sleeping?!”. After that other things start to bug you. Like why other people diss my interest. Or why nice people aren’t attractive. Or why can’t I freaking draw.

Sadness is poison to the soul at work. True, you need sadness to learn the ways of life, but sulking for too long will make others sulk with you. You’re bringing down the whole office with you. Awkward moments during company meetings and yamcha sessions due to your sorry-looking face is not necessary at all.

Accept the fact that due to your depression, your not-depressed friend now has a bigger view of the world than you do, no matter how personal your problems are. When you’re depressed, just listen to advice, tell them your troubles if you need to, and thank them for listening. Solve it if it’s achievable, if not let it go. Then move on with life.

I’m glad I did.

#9: Be humble and proud at the same time.

Using roses to exert your confidence only works in anime.

This is the trap of modern society:

• Being humble = You ain’t confident
• Not showing off your skills = You don’t have what it takes
• Dissing people’s work/ideology = You have an opinion, so you have a brain
• Helping others = Not helping yourself

I admit, I’m still in this trap. I’m very opinionated and I’m far from being soft-spoken. Through my work experience, a programme on Discovery channel and a book given to my uncle on his birthday, I’ve learned one important lesson: Those who get the utmost respect are mostly humble people, regardless of their fame and success.

At this point, some of you might already have some famous person at the back of their head who is successful, respected and not humble at all. Do take note that being confident does NOT equal lack of humbleness. You must also be proud enough to identify your past achievements and feel good about yourself. In other words, be proud on the inside and humble on the outside.

Benjamin Franklin once said that to be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy and to inferiors nobleness. No matter how corrupted the advertising industry is, this quote holds true to this very day.

#10: Don’t be afraid if you’re bad in English.

See? Terry’s not afraid of English either!

It’s quite a pity that some people lack confidence because of English, especially fresh graduates that come from outside Klang Valley (read: the so-called term “chinese-educated”). Strangely, when I talk to them, they seem to come up with great ideas.

Now here’s the mystery: how did I know that those ideas are great? I can only understand English, Malay, a bit of Japanese and a bit of Chinese (you know, the bad parts). I’m pretty sure that they used English words to convey their message. Seems like their message got across! Isn’t that what English is for, to communicate?

Perfect spoken English is overrated. In the advertising industry, what’s more important are other aspects of presentation skills: body language, hand gestures, voice projection, visual aids, etc. If you excel in all this, and people understand what you’re trying to say, the penguins have already bought your ice-cream!

Don’t take this for granted though. With every passing presentation, perfect your English. But you have to start somewhere, right? And have others screen your language skills as well. There’s totally no excuse to bring bad grammar and spelling into writing, because if you can’t write good English, get someone who can!

Alright that’s all. I still have a long way to go, even in the above aspects. But nothing’s wrong with sharing what I have learned, right? They’re just based on my personal experience and observations, nothing more. It’s your choice whether you want to take them up or not.

To all my MM051 students, congratulations! All the best out there! And to MM065, I’m seriously NOT gay! :P

! Update: Zeke’s lessons

Of course, my experience is considered small compared to Zeke, a friend from SMK Damansara Jaya. He’s the renowned technical director of OgilvyOne, so you all better listen to him! Here’s his list of advice as per his comment:

• Be inspired > spend some time being inspired by things you love and enjoy. Ideas flow alot better when you’re inspired… more so when you’re stumped

• Always kick it up a notch > find something challenging or one new way to do things with each project you undertake. This will force you to grow and learn new things that will go a long way… this is exactly what I do with all my projects. Why just one new way? Coz you usually need time and a couple of tries to learn how to do that one new way right.

• Don’t give excuses or be lazy > Laziness tends to cause you to give excuses as to why you cant get something done or get something to work. You must go through the failures to succeed.

! Update: Randolph’s lessons

When it comes to multimedia and game design academia, Randolph is the man to look for! He was a friend from APIIT, then became my colleague while I was teaching in APIIT! Without him, I would be forced to mingle with old-timers, talking about married life (he’ll be talking about that soon!). I quitted, but he stayed there since and created a game design course in APIIT! Totally cool! Also a leader of sorts, he was my boss in World of Warcraft lol.

Here’s his advice:

• “Personally, I say ‘Jump into the deep end’ you’d never learn what you’re capable of until you’re pushed to the limits. It’s surprising what the mind can come up with in moment of duress.”

Any industry experts who wanna give great lessons, please do! Creative directors, animators, whoever! (if )ians maybe? :3